Tao In You

Thus, one gains by losing,
and loses by gaining.

                                                 – Lao Tzu Tao Te Ching 42

 A challenge of life is making choices.            

To buy a jacket, you have to part with money you meant for a book.  To lose a job, you set youself free to embark on a journey you could not have found time for ……

Making choices in life is difficult.  It is, nevertheless, better than not making one at all.

The trick is to appreciate what you lose for the things you gain, and what you gain for the things you lose.

This will help you to see serenity in life.  

This is the essense of ‘yingyang balance’.

Picture source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cosmic_bandita/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Are you the boss?

If you have to tell people that you are, you are not.

“The best leaders are those their people hardly know exist.
The next best is a leader who is loved and praised.
Next comes the one who is feared.
The worst one is the leader that is despised …

The best leaders value their words, and use them sparingly.
When they have accomplished their task,
the people say, “Amazing!
We did it, all by ourselves!”

Lao Tzu Tao Te Ching (17)

Tao of Leadership …

A person who knows Tao has a clear mind.

This is because he is able to accept contradiction and paradox in life, and see black in white. 

He knows that existence itself is a paradox. 

If there is no day, there is no night.  If no one is tall, no one can be short.  If there is no honor, there can be no evil.

Instead of expecting things to be always in his favor, he is able to see life in a stage of flux, and strike a balance in it. 

He seeks a balance in yin and yang.

Know the white,
yet keep to the black:
Be the pattern of the world.
Be the pattern of the world,
the virtue in you will endure
and return again to the infinity.

Lao Tze Tao Te Ching - 28

When you desire too much, you tense up, and this in fact can close yourself to opportunities.

If you want happiness and success, learn to let yourself go and lose up.

Freed from desire, you can see the hidden mystery.
By having desire, you can only see what is visibly real.

Lao Tzu Tao Te Ching, Chapter 1

Lao Tzu and Confucius are considered the greatest philosophers in the Chinese history.

An interesting question is: what’s the difference between them?

The styles of the two philosophers are apparently different. If Confucius is an engineer, then Lao Tzu is a romantic. Confucius was obsessed with the rites and justice; Lao Tzu, on the other hand, emphasized spontaneity. Confucius talked specifically about how human relationship should be managed, while Lao Tzu wandered beyond the constraints of bondages through non-doing (wuwei) to achieve inner equilibrium .

They are as if the yin and yang of the Chinese culture, and your appreciation of the tradition would not be complete, if you know only one of them.

Confucius was nevertheless highly impressed by Lao Tzu. This was what he said after their rare meeting:

“I know how birds can fly, fishes swim, and animals run.  The runner may be snared, the swimmer hooked, and the flyer shot by the arrow. But there is the dragon: I cannot tell how he mounts on the wind through the clouds, and rises to heaven. Today I have seen Lao-tzu, and can only compare him to the dragon.”

Confucius talked about Lao Tzu after their meetinng

If you want to be happy, chances are you’d be unhappy.

If you’re happy, you don’t have to think about wanting to be happy. Happiness comes naturally from factors like love, contentment and pleasure that make you feel good, not the thought of wanting to be happy.

When you want to be happy, it can be that factors like sour relationship, failure, stress, and what not are making you unhappy. Such factors, unfortunately, will not go away with the thought of wanting to be happy.

If you want to be happy, learn to accept what life is.

Learn to flow with life.

Learn to see happiness as a process, not a destination.

When you can accept what life is, you will be able to accept what come with it, good or bad.  You will see whatever good or bad as a process that you have to live with. The question is how you want to live with it: in happiness or despair.

Being happy, in this case, becomes a way of life, not a desire.  It becomes a choice, not good to have.

This is more likely to make you happy, rather than simply wanting to be happy.

Know the white,
yet keep to the black;
it is the pattern of the world.
Flow with the pattern of the world,
you are constantly in the path of virtue,
and returning to the infinite.

Lao Tze Dao De Jing 28

When airlines stop you from carrying excess baggage on board the plane for your journey, you readily oblige.

Have you, however, check whether you are carrying excess baggage on your life journey as well?  If so, have you done anything about it?

Excess baggage adds burden and costs to the carrier and may delay your journey.  It can also bring similar problems to your life journey — delaying or even failing you from arriving at the milestones you have set for life your.  Do not underestimate their impact.

The sources of excess baggage in life are endless.  When you have a job, you want more money. When you have more money, you want even more money.   You want to spend more time with your loved ones, start your keep-fit program, earn more commission from your next sales, and enjoy more glory from your social status and many more …

In this way, you are adding more and more baggage to your life. Ironically, you also want to arrive at the targeted milestone quicker than anyone.

Do you think this is possible?

The problem is: you may not even ask yourself this question. You have stuffed too many desires to your mind to ask yourself such question.

Unfortunately, the law of nature will set in sooner or later — even if you are unaware of or prefer to ignore it.

The law is simple: excess baggage slows down your journey! It may even stop you from reaching the milestone you have set to achieve.  You may well be postponing or denying the arrivals for the excess baggages — which get heavier as you go along — on your shoulders.

Do what the airlines do to you for your life journey: limit weight of the baggage.

This will help you to arrive at the destinations of your life journey in time.

Do not forget the simple logic of nature: The more you want, the less you get.

If you want to achieve more, want less.

The five colors blind the eye.
The five tones deafen the ear.
The five flavors stale the palate.
The chase for preys deranges the mind, too much treasure impedes one’s growth.

The Master acts on what he feels not what he sees, so allows things to come and go.

Lao Tzu Te Tao Ching, 12

Life is difficult! There are many things in life that can turn you upside down.

It does not matter how smart you are, or how much money you have. You will have your fair share of downsides of life. You could fail an examination, unable to win the heart of the person you love, flop a project or sigh at the profit that goes downhill.

The next time when life is playing tricks on you again, however, try asking yourself this question, “what do I mean when I say that life is difficult?”

The tao that can be described
is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named
is not the eternal Name.

Tao Te Ching, Laozi 1

There is no one way to describe things in life.

When you feel that your life is difficult, what are you comparing it with?

Think of the persons who you admire. The difficulty that you experience can be small when in comparison to the challenges these great people have endured.  In this sense, the difficulty is a difficulty no more.   Compare yourself to people who are less fortunate, you may feel that you are thankful for being what you are.

On the other hand, if you are able to see the essence of things, rather than what it appears to be, bad needs not be bad, and good needs not be good.

Slouching in the comfort of your sitting room couch will never make you a strong.   To stay robust, you’ll have to endure the duress of training and drilling.

For the same token, to build a character, you will need the tutelage of adversity.  When you can see things in this perspective, the most appropriate name for adversity — in this case — is no longer ‘adversity’.  Although there is no ‘eternal name’ for advesity, it can well tentatively be known as ‘opportunity’.

Good fortune has its roots in bad fortune,
and bad fortune lurks with good fortune.
Who knows why these things happen,
or when this cycle will end?   (58)

Lao Tzu, founder of Daoism

Life is like going to a movie.

If you’re going to a movie and want to spoil the fun, bring a critic along!

Chances are — instead of enjoying dynamics of the drama, you will be treated to a fare of what’s right and what’s wrong.  “The costume of the heroin is inappropriate.  Wow, look at how they manipulate the camera!  Oh, the lighting …”

It is like reading into the anatomy of a girl you love instead of appreciating her beauty, or scrutinizing material of the canvas instead of admiring enchantment of an oil painting.

See how being a critic can make life miserable!

If you want to enjoy what you have, learn to stop being one.

Forget about what is right or wrong, or good or bad for a moment, so that you will not miss the fascination of being.

There is nothing wrong with critics, and we need critics to make the world better.  Live life of a critic, nevertheless, only when you have to be one, rather than for everything you do.  Otherwise, your life will lose its charm, just like the drama loses its lure.

Like what Laozi says in the Tao Te Ching:

Let the knowledge go and you will be free.
What is the difference between yes and no?
What is the difference between good and evil?
Must you fear what others fear?
Nonsense, look how far you have missed the mark!

Lao Tzu (founder of Taoism), Tao Te Ching, chapter 20

Life is an irony.

A young man is on his way home from a journey, when he is stuck by a river. It is so wide, almost impossible to cross. Just as he is about to throw in the towel, he sees a old man on the other side of the river.

Delighted, the yells, “Sir, can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river”?

The old man ponders for a moment.  He looks up and down the river, and then yells back, “Young man, but you are on the other side”.

So even when you are in the most difficult situation, there is another way to look at your situation.  This explains why Lao Tzu says,

“If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.”  (Tao Te Ching 33)